just come out here and I will go home with you...
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
birth control should be required to get into college
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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