I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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