Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
