Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
