I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
