I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
