Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
