Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
BRING THE BAGELS
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
