i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
