to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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