when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
