that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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