I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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