If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
