well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
