I want to walk on stilts...naked
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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