erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
