I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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