I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
