Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
