just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize