My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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