after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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