this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Randomize
