the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
