do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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