Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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