i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My penis needs a shock collar
Let's get the cat blown out
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
