return my video game
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
