Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
