Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
