how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
you made out with another girl for some wings
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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