You really coming over, don't trick.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
