Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize