Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
