So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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