Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
So squirting runs in the family.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize