didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
