I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
