my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
