I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize