so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
