garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
