true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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