I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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