I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
