is your mom at the bar?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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