My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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