How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
you never un-have a 4some
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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