somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
