I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
