we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
