My nipple is on Facebook.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
