Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
