guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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