a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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