please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
