I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
