i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
