Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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